HOT MESS

Now, I am generally an over excitable person. I have thought about every aspect of a proposal, wedding, marriage, family, etc. more than the average person (trust me, it's an obsession) and I imagined my reaction to becoming a fiance to be much different. It was a feeling I had never experienced and I had no idea how to show that emotion. Simply put, I was a wreck. A big ole HOTT MESS. 

I was SO excited and happier than I had ever been in my entire life.  It was literally like Travis was fulfilling all of my dreams for life in one simple question.  I have always wanted to be be a wife and mother. Like always and forever, since I was probably 5. But it almost seemed too easy. Was it for real? Was that all it took to have my life changed forever? Just a simple little question?  

One second I was crying and jumping up and down, the next I was feeling like I was going to barf. I just kept telling Trav I thought I was going to be sick and he was starting to get a little nervous that I wasn't sure about this whole thing, poor guy. (Have I mentioned that he is SUCH a good man to put up with me?) The millions of wedding ideas I've had stored in my mind for 10 plus years we're flowing out like crazy. I immediately started worrying about how on earth we'd ever have time to plan our own wedding with so many other weddings happening in our life. I was speechless but all I wanted to do was talk and tell Travis how much I loved him and how excited I was. My mind was spinning. I was freaking out. I never freak out!

  I always thought I would be so excited to call our friends and share the good news but a phone call just didn't seem appropriate. I wanted to run and hug all their necks as soon as I could but we were not near them and I wanted to soak in every bit of the weekend with my new fiance! We sat in Trav's truck on speaker phone and called friends and family for at least 2 or 3 hours. Just as soon as I stopped crying we'd call someone else and the tears would come rolling back. To say I was utterly exhausted by the end of the night, would have been putting it way too lightly.  

Of course, I didn't sleep a wink all night. Ideas were rolling through my mind, I would begin to fall asleep and I'd have an urge to google the most random things (wedding rings for Trav, venues, bands, etc.) and constant dings from my facebook push notifications were keeping me up...I wanted to read them all right then!   

The next morning I woke Travis up (at like 7) and just started bawling. (I know y'all, I was a crazy person!) I told him how I was sad I wasn't completely surprised and how I loved the ring he picked out but was expecting something completely different (like the pictures I'd sent him). I wasn't sure how I'd make a wedding band out of my grandmothers diamonds for it like I had always wanted - something he didn't know. I sobbed and explained that we were so busy this year there would be no time to plan this wedding I've always dreamed of, I cried because I felt so silly and ungrateful acting the way I was, and I cried (and cried and couldn't stop crying) when I explained that I had gotten used to saying goodbye to my boyfriend but I was NOT used to saying goodbye to my fiance!

As always, Travis calmly listened to my craziness and explained that everything would all work out perfectly. He told me why he wanted to be my husband and why the weekend and Rockport was so special to him (and I actually heard every word this time!) He explained why he chose the setting for the ring, why he wanted to propose the way he did and told me that no matter how crazy I was acting he'd always want to marry me. What a relief! I must have asked Travis 10 times if he still wanted to marry me. He had never seen me such a wreck (and hopefully never will again!)

That melt down was the best thing that could've happened right then. We laid there for a little bit longer just letting it all sink in and then I was back normal again, thank the Lord! I've said it before and I'll say it again, Travis ALWAYS has the right words to say at the right time. There is no doubt he was created specifically for me. 

We spent an amazing day together, just the two of us, which rarely happens. We got breakfast and did some shopping (my favorite activity) in all the cute shops of Rockport. I am really regretting not buying a picture we saw and loved for our first home. hoping it'll still be there next trip. We went back to the house, rested, snacked, and then went fishing (Trav's favorite activity). It was perfect. (all of it except for the boating accident we had which I'm pretty certain left me with a concussion - just what my already jacked up brain needed!)

Because obviously we'd go fishing the day after we get engaged! Love it! Wish this pic was with the reel Trav got me complete with pink line! Oh well. :)

I couldn't wait to see my momma and dad on Sunday!!!  We met our parents half way and enjoyed lunch together. After, we went to his sweet Granny Betty's for coffee and dessert. Then, I sadly told my new fiance good bye - but timing couldn't have been better because I got to see him just 2 days later!

I let my dad drive my car home...I was EXHAUSTED! I've slept like a baby ever since that night!

AND I am not acting crazy anymore!! Halle-freakin-lujah!! I am probably the happiest most excited person you will encounter these days! The only thing that could make me happier would be having Travis here. I am beyond blessed to have him in my life!